Vipassana

My travelogue account of a ten day vipassana course I attended in Leh, Ladakh. There are many vipassana centres throughout the world set up by S.N. Goenka. They do not charge for the course, costs are covered by donations from students who feel they have benefited from the course and want to help others to do the same.

The course is tough for beginners and you need quite a bit of determination to see it through, but I think its worth the effort.

Written: Aug 10, 2002 Location: Leh, Ladakh, Northern India

This entry describes my experiences on a Vipassana meditation course from the 16th to the 27th of July at Choglamsar near Leh, Ladakh.

I had just got back from trekking and had been thinking about doing the ten day Vipassana course starting in a couple of days time. It is an intensive retreat held in silence with many hours sitting in meditation each day.

The next day I went to register for the course at the Mahabohdi centre in Leh. It was possible that the course might be full but I went along anyway. I decided to let chance decide if I should do the course. If space was available I would go, if not so be it. I had heard from several people how hard the course was but I had a feeling that I needed to do it.

I just caught Patrick, one of the volunteer facilitators, as he was about to leave. There was space available so I duly registered not sure what I was letting myself in for.

A bus was provided the following day at 1pm to take us the 10km to the retreat centre at Choglamsar. The passengers were half westerners, half Ladakhi all looking a little nervous. I got of the bus like a hostage whose blind fold has just been removed.

Desert and mountains surrounded the meditation centre. The accommodation formed a rectangle with rooms looking on to gardens in the centre. There were separate accommodation areas for men and women. A separate building was used as a restaurant. Men and women ate in separate rooms. Apart from the first evening the following ten days would be held in silence.

The people assembled for the orientation talk were a motley crew: An Israeli bean pole like Jimmy Hendrix with fuzz afro and purple trousers, the crotch coming half way down his legs; A yoga thin German with long hair; A tall, bald Israeli man, I find out later he owned an Internet start up in the UK; A male model hippy type from Australia, tall, good looking and wearing Indian clothes; Another Israeli (many Israelis), extrovert and funny, he arrived on an Enfield motorcycle; There were also quite a few Ladakhi and Indian folk.

Patrick gave the orientation talk and a Ladakhi monk translated into Hindi for those not speaking English. There were many questions, after which we were allocated our rooms. Three people shared each room. My roommates were a Canadian and a Ladakhi. The room was bare with three hard beds in it, a table and nothing else. The room had an attached bathroom with shower, but no hot water. A window looked out onto a desert and mountain landscape. I could see a few buildings in the distance.

The first of many gongs was sounded to summon us for our first meal. There was much chattering as it would be the last time we could speak for 10 days. After seven pm we entered Noble silence.

  During our time on the course we had to comply with five precepts. Not to kill, steal or lie and to avoid alcohol and sexual activity. Everyone went to bed early, as we would be woken at 4am the next day and every day until the end of the course.

Day 1 we started the first meditation. Each day a sign was put on the notice board to say what day it was, so you could count down the days until the end. I received some good advice from a friend that it was best to take each day one at a time.

The schedule was as follows:
4.00 Morning Bell
4.30: 2 hours meditation
6.30 Breakfast
8.00-9.00 Group Meditation
9.00-11.00 Meditation per instruction from Teacher
11.00 Lunch
12.00-1.00 Rest
1.00-2.30 Meditation
2.30-3.30 Group Meditation
3.30-5.00 Meditation per instruction from Teacher
5.00 Tea
6.00-7.00 Group Meditation
7.00-8.30 Discourse video
8.30-9.00 Meditation
9.30 Lights out

The teaching was given exclusively on tape. It consisted of spoken instruction in Hindi and English. The meditation hall was just big enough to hold the fifty or so students on the course. High windows provided some natural light. A raised platform at one end of the room contained a gold statue of the Buddha, some flowers and photographs of Bodhgaya and other sacred Buddhist sites.

We started observing respiration, concentrating on the breath flowing in and out of the body. At first many things seemed to me absurd and funny, perhaps it was my sense of humour, or just India. As everyone sat down there was much coughing and clearing of throats that continued for some time. An Indian man would regularly sit down, attempt to clear his nose loudly twice, and then stand up, walk outside and noisily blow his nose again. I would often open my eyes just before starting and see a bow legged Ladakhi man shuffling in late past my shoulder. This man always seemed to arrive late.

After a short time sitting my knees and back started to hurt. I figured I was not alone from the groans and sighs from the fifty or so other people in the hall. Eventually the teacher, a tall, bald Indian man with long legs and wearing a dhoti entered the hall and sat down. I opened my eyes and he was staring reproachfully straight at me.

Eventually I heard a click as the teacher started the taped meditation instructions. Many times I would listen intently for this sound, waiting for the tape to be stopped and the session to end, waiting for release from the discomfort of my meditation posture.

  In the evening we watched the first days Discourse video. Goenka gives a talk specific to each day of the course providing further instruction and advice. I enjoyed these videos, as they were a chance to relax after all the hours of meditation. They were also interesting and often quite funny. A glint would appear in Goenka’s eyes when telling a joke. At the start of the video Goenka is shown with his eyes closed. He then slowly opens them as if awaking from sleep (meditation really) before invariably clearing his throat and speaking.
In the corner of the room the extrovert Israeli would sit with a blanket completely covering his head. His eyes just visible, he reminded me of the evil emperor from Star Wars. After 45 minutes the power would always fail for some reason and we would have to wait for 5 minutes until it returned.

Day 2 was very hard. We continued observing respiration concentrating on a small area of the nostrils. The pain from sitting was worse and my mind wandered and wanted to quit. I tried to use the will to control the mind but it was very difficult. I doubted if I could finish the course. At break times people wandered around with worried looks on their faces.

Day 3 we continued meditation on respiration observing sensations in a small area around the nostrils. It seemed slightly easier and I thought I was making progress. In the discourse Goenka said we were undergoing a deep surgical operation of the mind. It felt like it when after two hours of meditation the click of the tape sounded and Goenka’s voice said in a slow voice “Start Again, Start Again”. He often repeated words or phrases several times for emphasis. At the beginning of a session he would say, “Start with a clear and quiet mind, work very patiently, persistently and continuously. Work diligently, diligently.”

Day 4 we started Vipassana meditation proper. We started observing sensations throughout the body by moving the awareness over small parts of the body one at a time starting from the head and moving down to the toes. As we observed these sensations we had to avoid reacting to them either with craving or aversion. As the awareness is sharpened by practice subtler and subtler sensations should be felt until eventually the whole body is perceived as a mass of fine vibrations. In the words of Goenka the sensations can be “heat, cold, tingling, pressure, even pain anything it can be anything.” In my case the sensations at first were mostly pain and heat. The pain did lessen when the meditation was going well.

The Pali word ‘anicca’ is used to describe the law of impermanence that each sensation arises and then eventually after some time passes away. When the pain became unbearable I would inwardly scream anicca, anicca.

On day four and for the remaining days during the group meditation sessions, we had to remain in one posture without moving the legs, hands or opening the eyes. It is called Strong Determination. Three times a day for one hour we had to do this. The first few sessions I was unable to stay in one posture. Again I had doubts that I could complete the course. I left the hall depressed that my determination was not strong enough. In my room I thought that if I could just last a couple more days I could finish the course. After a couple more sessions I lasted an hour without moving but it was very hard. I had a bad session when tired and my mind overpowered me and I could not meditate. It felt like I was trapped inside a prison.

There was always huge relief when the click of the tape sounded and you knew there was only five minutes of chanting to go before you could release your aching legs.

Others had similar problems I was unaware of. I survived days five and six when many students give up. In my room both the Canadian and Ladakhi left and I have the room to myself. I began to believe I could complete the course.

The sensations remained similar for me. I asked the teacher for advise and he said my experiences were normal. I felt that I should be observing subtler sensations. Sometimes I was tired and the concentration was poor. Occasionally the meditation was good and I felt warm and a free flow of energy. Disconnected memories from the past would often crop up during the meditation.

The last couple of days were very intense. After some sessions I felt like I was undergoing a surgical operation of the mind and body! I would stagger out of the hall and stare at the mountains and the flowers, enjoying the warm sunshine.

In my room I reflected on the problems in my life: The drive to make money. Psychological complexes such as negativity, fear and ego.

I remembered bad deeds from the past and pain inflicted on others. I also thought of my family and how short life is.

I did not sleep that well the last couple of days and I had big back problems on the final day. Also I picked up lice from somewhere, probably another student who had complained of it. As I meditated the lice would crawl down onto my face. It was another sensation to observe, anicca.

Day 10 is a “shock absorber” designed to smooth the transition back to normal life. Noble silence ended at 10am. There was much chattering. We practiced Metta meditation, which sends loving compassion to all beings. I felt really happy that I had completed the course and also relief that it was almost over.

There are no fees for the course; costs are met entirely by donations.

Even on the last morning we were up at 4 am for a final video and meditation. Then it was the bus back to Leh and a breakfast of Cappuccino and chocolate croissants. After two weeks of rice and dhal it was nice to indulge.

Off next to the remote mountain areas of Spiti and Kinnaur in Himachal Pradesh.

S.N. Goenka started teaching meditation in the tradition of Sayagyi U Ba Khin in the sixties in India. There are many centres throughout the world that teach Vipassana. Further information can be obtained from the Vipassana Meditation website.